A Holly Jolly End to Writer's Block

Well, folks, I’ve done it.  The 10 Days of Christmas: Writer’s Edition was a resounding success, and I posted something every day up until Christmas.  I’d say that is quite an accomplishment, especially given my past track record with posting things on here. 

Granted, the posts generally had little or nothing to do with writing, but that wasn’t really the point.  The point was to set up a schedule and consistently post something to the blog. 

And this is how I can tie all of this back to writing.  You see, a big part of being a writer is writing (yeah, no duh).  Realistically, though, many people find it hard to stick to a set schedule of writing, which is a very big part of the process.  Even if you don’t have something to write about, even if you don’t have a story idea, you can still write something.  Writing anything is practice, and while you may not always have an idea initially, the writing process can help with writer’s block.

As I’ve said before, sometimes we get into a nasty cycle of complacency; we go for so long without writing that it just becomes normal.  And that’s not okay.

If you want to be a writer, you have to write consistently, whatever it may be.  The best way to write is to set up a schedule and stick to it.  Even if you write for only ten or fifteen minutes a day, you are still creating a habit.  Once you get used to writing every day, it will become second nature.

Hopefully this experiment has given me the stimulus to write more frequently and update this blog regularly.  I cannot say that I will update every day (I do have a life), but I will certainly try to update more than once a week. 

Merry Christmas Eve to all (and to all a happy whatever holiday of your choice),

Shannon

Some Last Minute Christmas Stuff

I’m not really sure what to write today, and to be honest, I’m a bit distracted (surprise, surprise).  I’m heading out later today to go to a Christmas party with a group of my high school friends, so I am really more focused on that than my blog at the moment. 

With that in mind, I will make this an extremely short blog post.  I knew I had to post something given my 10 Days of Christmas promise, and I will not go back on my word.  

In the spirit of Christmas Eve Eve (December 23), here are some last minute things you can do to get in the Christmas spirit (if you aren’t by this point):

1.      Bake Christmas cookies (hey, what’s jollier than eating sweet stuff?)

2.      Watch a Christmas movie (any one)

3.      Listen the Christmas music (and sing loudly for all to hear)

4.      Play Twister (well…maybe not holiday related, but how can you go wrong with this?)

And finally, for those who haven’t quite finished their Christmas shopping:

           Get On It!  

Only one more day until Christmas Eve, and I’m stoked.  Here’s wishing everyone happy holidays, whatever you celebrate.

Happy Christmas Eve Eve,

Shannon

Cookie Adventures!

I would say that this morning was very productive.  I wrapped some presents, wrote out some Christmas cards, posted to the blog (yay), and baked some delightful and tasty cookies (basic chocolate chip, a classic).  Here are the results of said baking excursion:

So much cookie goodness, it couldn't all fit in one tin.

Yummy-looking, no?  Anyway, this post really isn't going to be that long.  Mostly I wanted to brag about my delicious cookies, but I figured I should also put something else in here.  

So here is some advice for those looking to embark on their own baking adventures in the near future.  

First, go watch My Drunk Kitchen on YouTube.  And basically don’t do anything she does (love you, Hannah!).  But seriously, those videos are hilarious.  Go check them out.

Second, always time your cookies or whatever else you’re baking.  And even if you have set a timer, check on your cookies before the timer goes off.  Your cookies will bake much faster after the initial batch.

Third, always remember to wear an oven mitt.  This is crucial.  My pinky finger is not happy with me.

Finally, have fun!  And always remember: don’t be discouraged if something goes wrong or if you burn something.  You can always start again.  Or just eat the cookie dough.

Happy baking adventures and whatnot,

Shannon

It’s the End of the World as We…Oh, Wait

As you have probably noticed, there are no meteors falling from the sky, no zombie hordes eating people’s brains, no Day After Tomorrow-style ice ages, and no other earth-destroying force wiping out all of humanity.

That’s right, people.  We’ve survived the Apocalypse.  Yippee.

But you know, I have been giving it a lot of thought, and it has come to my attention that there are many, many theories regarding the way in which the world will end, and for the most part, I find myself a bit underwhelmed. 

Don’t get me wrong; a zombie hoard gnawing on my flesh would be terrifying, if not a little gross.  However, everyone has thought of that scenario.  Everyone has thought of the meteors and the weather shifts that throw the environment out of balance.  I mean, what has Al Gore been talking about all this time, huh?  Obviously, he was trying to warn us about the Apocalypse.

Anyway, I wanted to think up some better or more creative ways for the world to end.  So here’s my personal list:

1.      Everyone gets infected by some love virus (go with it), we all get into a giant orgy and finally die from too much sex.

2.      By some sort of magic something/alternate timeline, we find out that all of our favorite fictional characters are actually real…and kill us all to gain control over our world.

3.      Evil Abed and Evil Troy make this the darkest timeline.

4.      What happened at the end of Cabin in the Woods (because that was pretty awesome).

5.      Giant lobsters.

6.      Aliens come and bake everyone into a huge, worldwide birthday cake (or Jell-O mold).

7.      Paper becomes sentient (it happens) and gives everyone huge paper cuts…and then they get infected and turn everyone into paper monsters.

8.      In order to take over the world, The Abominable Snowman recruits Frosty the Snowman and all the other snowmen…and cause a huge ice age okay, so I couldn’t help it—at least it wasn’t caused by global warming, though).

9.      A chemical spill causes all water sources to become completely sour, so when we go to drink water, our faces pucker and get stuck that way.

And finally…

10.  Giant lobster robots.

I know, I know.  Many of these scenarios (all) are ridiculous, make little sense, and are highly impossible.  But hey, so is thinking that the Mayans knew when the world was going to end.

Happy Surviving-the-Apocalypse Friday,

Shannon

Why Naps Should be a Required Part of the Work Day

I think naps should be integrated into the typical work day.  Hell, naps should be integrated into everyone’s day, no matter what.  Every day at noon should be declared “Nap Time” or something similar.

Why?

Well, for one thing, naps are awesome.  For people like me, who get up at about 5 or 5:30 to get into work in the morning, it seems like a helpful way to catch up on some much-needed rest.  I feel like if we could all have that moment to take a quick break and rest our eyes for a bit, we’d feel much better during the remainder of the day.

However, I think I also advocate this idea because, by the time I get home from work (especially today, for some reason), I am about ready to crash into my bed.  Not that there is anything wrong with this, mind you.  I actually took quite a long nap when I got home today.

The bad part of this story is that I had a bad dream.  A scary dream.  There were snakes…everywhere.  It was a relief to wake up and know that they weren’t really there, but still…I was freaked out.

And here is the real reason for this post and why I think naps are essential.  If we could get a short nap in the middle of the day (only about half an hour or so), not only would we all be fresher and more alert for the rest of the day, but then I also wouldn't have to come home, take a nap, and be freaked out by snake dreams. 

I think that’s enough of a reason to make Nap Time a thing, don’t you?

Happy 6^th day of the 10 Days of Christmas,

Shannon

The Virtues of Eye Patches (and Other Alternatives for the Visually-Impaired)

Have you ever spent nearly an entire day squinting out of one eye or holding your hand over one eye so that you can clearly see what’s right in front of you because otherwise you’d be looking through a big, blurry lens all day?  Well, that was my day in a nutshell.

Like many visually-impaired people, I wear contacts every day, only taking them out at night.  Though I have glasses, I just find contact lenses more functional overall.  Wearing glasses tends to give me a headache or hurt my ears after an extended period of time, and there have been many instances (typically during my time in theatre or when doing physical activities) when I just couldn’t wear glasses at all, either for fear that they would break or because the character I was playing didn’t wear glasses.

Plus, I like being able to choose my eye color.  If I could, I’d go all out and get demon-red or blackout contacts.  Or contacts with the Batman symbol on them.

However, like everything else, there is a definite downside to wearing contacts.  After having worn contacts for many years, I can say with certainty that taking contacts in and out is no longer a difficult task.  You just get used to the feeling. 

The real problem comes whenever anything (from an eyelash to a piece of dust) gets in your eye.  Then you’re in trouble.  Sometimes it’s a relatively simple matter to get the irritating something-or-other out of your eye.  You can roll your eye around in the socket, try to take the contact out and reapply saline to it, flush out your eye with water, etc.  Most times, these methods work, and aside from a little redness, the feeling of burning and aching goes away.

Then there are times when you cannot for the life of you manage to get the offending object out of your eye.  You know it’s there.  You can feel something.  The pain is a dead giveaway.  But still it persists in tormenting you, until finally you want to jab a fork in your eye and let the tears hopefully wash away whatever is bothering you.

Okay, maybe that’s a little overdramatic.  A little.

Of course, there are days like today when it isn’t your eye that’s causing the problem, but the contact lens itself.  Yes, my contact lens was plotting against me.  As I noticed the rip in the lens, I resignedly threw it away and had to send the rest of the day with one eye dark green and the other my natural hazel.  (And this was first thing in the morning after I got to work, so I couldn’t really do anything about it; I also didn’t have my glasses on hand at the time.)

After days like today (which seem to occur more frequently than not), I feel like eye patches should be considered an acceptable alternative to traditional eyewear.  Pirates wear them all the time, and we all know how fashionable they can be (if you overlook the poor hygiene and scurvy).  Hell, Nick Fury of The Avengers wears one!  And if anyone can make an eye patch look badassalicious, it’s Nick Fury. 

Maybe I can get a custom-made eye patch, like one decorated with flowers or stars…or the Batman symbol (if you can’t tell, I have a thing for Batman).  Wouldn’t that be awesome?  Just think how amazingly comfortable that would be, especially compared to those suffering from contact lens uprisings.

I think we should stop limiting our eyewear choices, and we should especially make eye patches more acceptable and more accessible to women (who have been grossly overlooked by the eye patch market, in my opinion). 

It’s time eye patches came back in style, and maybe (just maybe) we can lead the charge against eye patch oppression everywhere!

Failing that, I think I’d settle for a nifty monocle like the Monopoly guy's. 

Happy Eye Patch Wednesday to all,

Shannon

Deck Them Halls and All That Stuff

One of my favorite things about the holidays is just the overall atmosphere, the feeling of warmth and comfort associated with the Christmas season.  Granted, it’s much easier to get in that spirit after your finals are over, but even students still obsessing over the papers they have yet to finish can find some comfort in the holiday music wafting through the air, the lights twinkling on overly-decorated houses, and the warm reds and greens covering everything in sight.

                                               

One of my favorite scenes from National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation is the one in which Chevy Chase is decorating the outside of the house with lights.  After he covers every square inch, he tries to light the lights, but they won’t go on.    He nearly goes ballistic trying to figure out why they won’t light, and he takes his anger out on a poor, defenseless Santa lawn ornament and his reindeer.  It’s a marvelous comedic moment.

When he finally gets everything lit (with some help from his wife), however, the mood suddenly changes.  A whole choir sings Hallelujah, and the family comes outside to bask in the beauty and blinding light from the decorations.  And everywhere else in the city, there’s a huge power surge forcing a backup generator to be turned on, but we can forget that in lieu of the awesome display.

The point is, there are just some things about the holidays that bring a smile to my face, and though sometimes it can be taken to an almost obsessive level, the lights that people use to decorate their homes are one of those things.  The brilliant glow providing illumination amid the dark night sky is enough to make you stop and look, to appreciate the hard work and effort put forth by the people of those homes. 

It’s almost enough to make you forget about all those giant, plastic snow globes littering the lawn.

Happy merry everything,

Shannon

Finishing is its Own Reward…But Chocolate Would be Good, Too

I have finally finished writing my paper, and I feel so good, I just had to keep up the writing high by typing up another blog post! 

You know, finishing a paper--especially a long paper with the ability to sap all of your energy and make you feel like a zombie while writing it—is one of the best feelings in the world for a college student.  Or any student, I would guess.

Throughout the duration of paper writing, it’s often hard to keep focus and push through the road blocks.  So what do you do to keep up the momentum?  What keeps you from going slightly (very) mad?

Well, it always helps to have a reward system.  I know many of my friends use this system while writing papers, and though I sometimes slip and take a break regardless of whether or not I have actually reached the page count I told myself to reach before eating that Milky Way bar or watching that television show (oops), it is still an effective method of getting work done.

So if you ever feel like you just cannot make it through a paper (or whatever it is you’re working on at the time), just set a goal for yourself.  Make them attainable goals, as well.  Tell yourself that if you finish writing a full single-spaced page, you get to read a chapter of that Power Rangers fanfiction you love so much.  Treat yourself to a pomegranate when you reach the halfway mark.  Go for a victory run on the treadmill while listening to “For Now” from Avenue Q (fitting, considering the circumstances) after you finish completely.

Whatever you do, reward yourself.  After writing a 20-page paper, you deserve it.

Happy writing, and happy 3^rd day of the 10 Days of Christmas!

Shannon

The Princess Bride: A Holiday Classic?

In the spirit of my 10 Days of Christmas promise, I’m posting the second in what will hopefully be a slew of updates this coming week.  Since I’m still stuck in the middle of writing my Cisneros paper, I’ll try to make this one quick.

Today I noticed something while my mother and I were watching Christmas movies on TCM.  While TCM had advertised that it would be showing holiday movies during the day (including White Christmas and this movie All I Want for Christmas that starred a young Thora Birch), the movie following All I Want for Christmas was, funnily enough, The Princess Bride.

Now, don’t get me wrong.  I absolutely love The Princess Bride.  It’s one of my favorite movies of all time, and I will admit that throughout the movie, I kept posting Facebook statuses with quotes from the movie.

However, I was not quite sure if The Princess Bride would really be considered a “holiday” movie.  What made it worthy of being included with all of the other holiday movies?  Other than the fact that it’s just plain awesome, of course.

In my quest to find the answer to this question, I started looking closer at the movie.  With that said, here are a few reasons why The Princess Bride could technically be considered a “holiday” movie:

1.   Ever notice the background of the first scene of the movie?  The one where Fred Savage is sick in bed?  Ever notice the Santas in the background?  That’s right.  Santas, as in plural.  One on the closet and the other behind Fred Savage’s head.  I guess this really does take place during Christmas. 
2. The grandfather, played by Peter Falk, gives Savage the book as a present, wrapping paper and everything.  Yeah, I know the kid is sick in bed, and the grandfather may just be giving the boy the book to make him feel better…but still, it’s a present, right?
3. This may just be me, but is that snow on the roofs of the houses outside the grandson’s window?
4.  Christmas is nothing if not a time for miracles, and this movie is full of miracles.  It even has a character named Miracle Max!  Who brings Wesley back from being mostly-dead!  If that’s not a Christmas miracle, I don’t know what is.
5.  As we’ve all learned from Love Actually, Christmas is a time to be with loved ones and just be in love.  Buttercup and Westley’s love story certainly qualifies.

That’s all for now.  And next time you want to pick up a holiday classic, don’t be afraid to watch The Princess Bride.  It totally counts.

Happy holidays,

Shannon

The 10 Days of Christmas: Writer's Edition

It’s that time of year again.  You know what time of year, right?  Of course you do. 

Yes, it’s FINALS WEEK.  (dun, dun, dun)

This past week has been quite hectic, and it is still not over for me.  Thinking about Mango Street and feet and sexuality and whatnot is really just the tip of the iceberg, and while I adore Cisneros, I (like everyone else in the same, sinking boat) just want this paper to be finished already.

The big problem is the fact that, yeah, it is almost Christmas, and while Christmas itself is wonderful, the time leading up to it can be…stressful.  Normally, I am easily distracted by anything and everything regardless, but during the holiday season? 

Why must there be so many catchy, annoying tunes filling my head and bright, twinkling lights blurring my vision?  Why am I so intrigued by those blow-up snow globes on people’s lawns?  Why must the TV people play so many classic and not-so-classic Christmas movies that suck me in and never let me go?  Why do the kids on the Charlie Brown Christmas special dance like Frankenstein robot marionettes?

The Christmas season is filled to the brim with distractions, and hopefully this weekend I can finish the things I need to do before I can really enjoy all of them.  With that said, however, I am going to try something that isn’t going to help my stress levels in the slightest and will most likely drive me bananas. 

Starting today, I am doing the 10 Days of Christmas: Writer’s Edition.  Basically, I am going to try to post something to this blog every day leading up to Christmas, thus giving me even more of a challenge than I had previously and knocking me out of my mango-induced stupor.  The post does not necessarily have to be long or even about writing; it just has to be something.  Most likely, they will include Christmas-related somethings.  Or nonsense.

Why would I do this to myself, you ask?  Well, in the spirit of the holiday, I wanted to take the time out of my day to reflect on life, the universe, Douglas Adams references…and just appreciate the fact that, while I may be stressed out, it is still the Christmas season.  Or Hanukkah, Kwanzaa, Festivus, Mayan Apocalypse…whatever it is you want to celebrate. 

Plus, if the world really is going to end, I might as well go out writing.

Happy 10 days to Christmas, folks.  Here’s hoping we make it!  J

Happy (Insert Phrase Here),

Shannon

Why a Prospectus is One of the Best Things Ever…Sort of

For the past couple of weeks, I’ve had research paper stuff on the brain.  Not only have I been working on my paper for The House on Mango Street, but I’ve also recently been revising my paper on monstrosity as it pertains to Batman’s female villains (which, I just found out, I’ll be presenting at the National Popular Culture Association Conference!).  

Today as I was working on my annotated bibliography and prospectus for my House on Mango Street paper, I realized two things: a) I am a complete English nerd because b) after I finished writing up my prospectus, I got really excited about writing the actual paper.

For those unfamiliar with having to write a prospectus, it’s basically a summary of what will be discussed in the research paper and is useful for mapping out the structure of the paper.  The information does not have to be exactly what will be in the final paper, but it should give you a good idea of where the paper is heading.  It typically includes the paper topic, a tentative title and thesis statement, and discusses the primary source and secondary sources being used to support the thesis.

While the idea of writing one of these seems tedious, I have found that it is actually much easier to write a research paper after having written a prospectus.  Why, you ask?  Not only does it help you formulate your paper ideas, articulating what will be used in the paper and how it will be structured, but typically, everything that goes into a prospectus will also be going into the paper’s introduction. 

Think about it: if a typical prospectus is about two double-spaced pages in length, and if the prospectus is basically the basis for your introduction, then when you go to write the paper, you will already have two pages of the paper written.  Furthermore, since the prospectus should map out how the rest of the paper is structured, you can just follow that structure to write the rest of the paper.

So, yeah.  If I didn’t already know that I was an English nerd, I definitely have proof now.  Then again, there are certainly worse things. J

Happy writing,

Shannon

The House on Mango Street- Some Thoughts and Ramblings

The first time I read The House on Mango Street by Sandra Cisneros, I was a freshman in college taking a women’s lit class.  As an English major in an all-women’s college, I would go on to take many more literature courses, many focusing on gender issues in texts (sort of comes with the territory), but this was the first literature course I took in my undergraduate program.  

Fittingly, the first novel we read in the class was Jane Eyre, followed by Wide Sargasso Sea (a book I’d highly recommend to anyone who thought that the “madwoman in the attic” from Jane Eyre ought to get the chance to tell her side of the story for once). 

When we finally got to The House on Mango Street, I was ecstatic for several reasons.  I’m sure I was glad to read something completely unrelated to Jane Eyre (a novel which I did not appreciate as much then as I do now—and even now it’s not exactly in my top-ten or top-twenty). 

I also remembered having read one of the novel’s vignettes during high school and appreciating it for not only its brevity but its simple eloquence.  The vignette, “A Smart Cookie,” all together takes up about a page, creates a complex backstory for one of the characters, and uses language in a way that makes you double-take for a second after you’ve read it, forcing you to look again at the deeper meaning behind it. 

Naturally, I wanted more, so getting to read the full novel was like a literary treat.  Of course, I was not disappointed upon finally reading it, finding each individual vignette to enhance the reading of the novel yet somehow able to stand alone and create a compelling story.

And by Next Week I Mean…Sometime in the Near Future

Procrastination.  It’s one of the ugliest words in any writer’s (or college student’s) vocabulary.  Yet unfortunately, it can be one of the most familiar, as well.  Case in point: this post. 

I would say let’s just call the last two months “the lost months,” but that would imply that I am never going to go a considerable length of time without posting in the future, and…well, I know my track record.  I also know how difficult it can sometimes be to stick to a set schedule, especially if you are a procrastinator, like me. 

The reality of life is that sometimes things do not always pan out the way you originally imagine they will, and if you are a procrastinator, it is very easy to trick yourself into thinking that something important can be put off until the next day.  Or the day after.  Or the day after that…

If you are a writer, this cycle is particularly vicious.  Ideally, writers should strive to put something to paper (or Word document) every day, just so their skills do not go to waste.  

Even writers struggling with writer’s block should do this in order to see if an idea will spring to life.  When writers fail to do this (and worse, when it becomes a habit), it gets increasingly harder to return to a stable writing routine. 

And Haiku to You, Too

This weekend, after a harmless conversation about Oprah Winfrey and Lean Cuisine, I got to thinking about haikus.  (If you were a part of the conversation, you’d totally understand.) 

The thing I love about haikus is their ability to convey a fully-formed and (mostly) coherent thought in the smallest amount of space.  For those who don’t know, a haiku is a Japanese poetic form consisting of 17 syllables broken up into a pattern of 5-7-5.  I’ve often found that haikus are like hand grenades: deceptively small until you pull the pin and watch the explosion that follows.  You’ll rarely find a poem shorter than a haiku, but when you actually read it, it will leave you wondering at how something so tiny could say so much and fill your brain with so much awesome.

For writers who find themselves a bit too wordy, writing a haiku is an excellent way to practice the art of brevity.  Sometimes it’s hard to stay concise and only say what is absolutely necessary in order to make your point.  With a haiku, it’s nearly impossible to add unnecessary fluff.  As an added bonus, writing haikus may just stir some story ideas in the process.

4 Things Fanfiction Has Taught Me about Writing

While the idea of sticking to a set schedule of writing is incredibly important and admirable, it is not always so easy to follow through with said plans (case in point: the date of this post).  I cannot tell you how many times this week I have started writing a new post only to get a severe case of writer’s block. 

I’m also, sadly, a person who can get pretty easily distracted by other things—the Internet in general, cleaning out my closet, exercising, shiny things, Pez, the state of the world as we know it, why Pluto isn’t a planet anymore, etc.  Fortunately, one of the things which provides a major distraction for me is reading fanfiction (i.e. crack for fandom shippers and people who refuse to accept the fact that both Tonks and Lupin had to die at the end of the 7^th Harry Potter book, and don’t even get me started about Fred).  Ahem.

I say fortunately because, despite my infinite regret while reading it that I should probably be reading more “legitimate” fiction in my spare time, I have found that there are many things a writer can learn from reading fanfiction. 

Thus, I have created a list of four things which I have learned through reading fanfiction which have served me well in my own writing habits.  Plus, this gives me a reason to justify my reading fanfiction in the first place.

                                                                                                                     

1.      The Importance (and Rarity) of Proper Grammar Usage

I am not talking about stories which have one or two spelling or grammar mistakes. Those few mistakes are understandable, and no one is immune to the occasional slip-up, myself included.

No, I am referring to the (quite astonishingly) large amount of stories I have read in which the laws of grammar seem to have somehow hitchhiked cross-country never to be seen again.  Perhaps they are floating around in space somewhere looking for a spaceship to pick them up before they suffocate. 

Much of my amazement has to do with the fact that, in an age where we have some of the most advanced technology at our fingertips, it seems too difficult for some people to use a simple spell-checker.  Come on, people.  See those little red squiggly lines underneath some of your words?  Ignoring them will not be beneficial to anyone.  Least of all, the reader.

What I find most sad about improper grammar usage is that a story could have loads of potential, but readers are not going to want to give a story a chance if they see mistakes in every other line.  It distracts from the story and takes a person out of the scene. 

The good thing about fanfiction writing is that, even if you are not the best proofreader, there are always beta readers available to help edit your stories and offer feedback.  Asking for help is never a bad thing, and it will help you to become a better writer and editor in the long run.

Talking of Titles, or, When Titles Talk Back

Let’s face it: One of the first things which entices you to pick up a book or read a certain article is its title.  A title can make or break a person’s first encounter with a book.  It’s like meeting someone for the first time.  If you were to encounter someone on the street who was wearing ski goggles, a furry parka, rainbow tights, and had a pet monkey on his shoulder…well, you’d probably run away in terror.  But!  You’d want to know his backstory, surely?  Of course you would.

A title does sort of the same thing.  Choosing the right title can make a big difference in the way in which a book is received.  It can evoke certain emotions or make someone interested in the book even if the actual subject matter may not be to their taste.  In fact, the title may be downright misleading (thank you, Naked Lunch), but if it’s creative enough, chances are you’ll at least pick it up and have a look at the back cover.  Here are some of my personal favorite book titles:

• The Perks of Being a Wallflower by Stephen Chbosky
•   To Kill a Mockingbird by Harper Lee
• The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy by Douglas Adams
• The Vagina Monologues by Eve Ensler
•  The Hollow Chocolate Bunnies of the Apocalypse by Robert Rankin (I swear this is a real book.  I haven’t read it yet, but just for the title alone, I really think I should!)

I could go on and on; titles are just so much fun, not only to read but to create!  I’d assume it’s like naming a baby; a name gives something its whole identity.

Deflowering a Blog Virgin

So, in a way, this whole blog came about because of pole-dancing.  Well, the idea of pole-dancing.  As a form of exercise, not as a profession.  (Not that I'm judging or anything.  Because that would be wrong.)

I'm rambling.  Let me start over.

Last week, I met up with some friends from high school, most of whom I hadn't seen in years.  As we were discussing the goings-on of our daily lives, one person mentioned how she had started taking some pole-dancing lessons, a fun and effective way of staying fit.  Naturally, I was intrigued (though a bit upset to learn that the classes did NOT include getting to wear sparkly, sequined costumes).  But again I digress.

My first thought, after my lamentation over the absence of the aforementioned sparkly number, was that the image of me trying to shimmy up a pole would not only be horrifyingly dangerous, but also insanely hilarious.  Athletic and/or coordinated, I am not.  This, of course, led me to my second thought, which was that trying something like this, whether it be pole-dancing, underwater basket-weaving, sky-diving, etc., would make excellent writing material, especially for the comedic gold it would no doubt supply.  As an aspiring writer, I was ecstatic.  How could I possibly go wrong?  I would go out and try a myriad of different activities, gaining life experience in the process, and then come home and blog about my many foibles, occasionally offering a nugget or two of advice on how (not) to do things.